Want Of Feeling
Never was a beauty. My attraction lies in the expresivness of my features. I am laughably plain compared to the batrayal of my face. The betrayal of every emotion revolving around my thought is illuminated for the reciever to see. For that sole reason poeple have fallen inlove with me without knowing who I am, or hating me imnesly for the confusion it stirs.
I am cursed with the ability to sense other people struggling within themselves, so deep, right there in the darkest depth of thier souls I reach. There I find beautiful insight and a painful recognition. The condition humane where lies the danger of fusion.
This is when I embraced a form of life the gift of feeling.that breath and demand. Rues are made to control feelings, cripple them, for they are obsticles in the face of a realist, a danger to a pesimistic existintialist. To me they lead to deliciouse inner madness. I defied those rules, refused the social definition of pride and self control, poise. Descarded reserve and conventionality and stood naked infront of everyone. I am shamless.
I have begged for mercy I begger when the lose was unbearable for I believed it might take away the pain. Even when the lose was of an unhealthy love I begged. A love of wanting to posses,digest, spiting out the remains of a human I thought I was loving.I was shamless and I begged him for mercy. or was it the truth in disguise. Blind with rage I chose to beg in place of revenge. this way I stayed true to myself. My pride was not broken or corroded. My pride remained smoldreing and strong, because the morals of the avarage man are unacceptable to me. I live by other values.
My most vaulrable traits socially considered a weakness, an extreme, an excess. to me it is the only way to live. A tremendouse ability to forgive is what I found with in me through who has hurt me. A kindness so profound the crulest man and ignorant woman will find a place in my heart and care.
I am shamless. I as a woman have used my body to posses and satisfy, at that time it was the only way to seek and express love. My bodys influense became so strong it has harmed me and others more than anything then. It has driven the man I love away. After that I have learned how to love, I peserve my body's power in egniting the basic man woman attraction, no longer a vice. I became kind to my body and realized it's submission to my orders. and I am kind to it when it simply gives away.
How I became like that. I was not born this,is a mistery even to me. A mistery to poeple who come in contact with me, seeing this truth that is reflected in my face alone. Has often resulted in disbelieve and mistrust. And After all I get hurt, but it is worth it. Because I try and not trying is what I regret the most. Because if I do not try I will never be true to myself when I only know what it is I want.
I am cursed with the ability to sense other people struggling within themselves, so deep, right there in the darkest depth of thier souls I reach. There I find beautiful insight and a painful recognition. The condition humane where lies the danger of fusion.
This is when I embraced a form of life the gift of feeling.that breath and demand. Rues are made to control feelings, cripple them, for they are obsticles in the face of a realist, a danger to a pesimistic existintialist. To me they lead to deliciouse inner madness. I defied those rules, refused the social definition of pride and self control, poise. Descarded reserve and conventionality and stood naked infront of everyone. I am shamless.
I have begged for mercy I begger when the lose was unbearable for I believed it might take away the pain. Even when the lose was of an unhealthy love I begged. A love of wanting to posses,digest, spiting out the remains of a human I thought I was loving.I was shamless and I begged him for mercy. or was it the truth in disguise. Blind with rage I chose to beg in place of revenge. this way I stayed true to myself. My pride was not broken or corroded. My pride remained smoldreing and strong, because the morals of the avarage man are unacceptable to me. I live by other values.
My most vaulrable traits socially considered a weakness, an extreme, an excess. to me it is the only way to live. A tremendouse ability to forgive is what I found with in me through who has hurt me. A kindness so profound the crulest man and ignorant woman will find a place in my heart and care.
I am shamless. I as a woman have used my body to posses and satisfy, at that time it was the only way to seek and express love. My bodys influense became so strong it has harmed me and others more than anything then. It has driven the man I love away. After that I have learned how to love, I peserve my body's power in egniting the basic man woman attraction, no longer a vice. I became kind to my body and realized it's submission to my orders. and I am kind to it when it simply gives away.
How I became like that. I was not born this,is a mistery even to me. A mistery to poeple who come in contact with me, seeing this truth that is reflected in my face alone. Has often resulted in disbelieve and mistrust. And After all I get hurt, but it is worth it. Because I try and not trying is what I regret the most. Because if I do not try I will never be true to myself when I only know what it is I want.
posted by pstpst at 11:54 PM
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