A Stich Up Devision
My birth I do not remeber but I have been with her through out her life. Inseperable until the day I seeped out, leaving her to servive with what was left of her.
I remember that day for I am the holder of chaotic memories for her. And in that day she was clutching a piece of paper, in her sweaty hand, containing the information. Clutched so tight and hard her sweat is smudging the words to become " turn back home''. A fragment of my imagination ofcaurse. I contain that for her too for I am her SANITY.
We both enter the doctor's office. I am registering carefully what is bieng discussed. they agree on a sum. She mutters ''I am ready''. At that moment leaped out of her body that contained that submissive heart letting out a demonic silent scream ''for what!ready'' I remind her of our promise. That it is against everything we are and ever will be. I wisper into her deafend ear ''A man who doesnot appriciate our experience in al matters is not a man to be reckoned with''.
She stood up slowly and walked the walk of the defeated behind the Dr. heading for the operating room. But I was relentless I folow her closely and kept up the rambling flow into her waxy ear ''our virginity a gift? a tocken of loe and honour?'' the Dr.comes between us somehow he must have gone through me, I still do not realize my seperated state is null. .I barely slip in when he was closing the door behind him, and it seems the door has hit me but I look at the left side of my supposed existance and ofcause I see nothing.
Inside the OR I find a mirror while I look into it and its reflection of all the suroundings of the room but me, the ubserdity of the notions I spoke out intensified and I laugh hysterically at the men who demand virginity as a requirment in thier partner. Wait I am sanity I must stop. As i realized what I am I tried movement. I found that I am agile. i can glide, float, soar.
Up to the cieling I look down on her. A body without me. She is lying on the table. Her top is on but her legs are bare and spread. Her thighs tremble though her knees are up and her feet are firmly planted on smooth sufrace of the table. a stable position yet her thighs tremble.
I descend to stad behind her to look down on her face. I find shamful silent tears streaming donw the sides of her face, wetting her ears and hair. Yet she does not move her hands to wipe the tears away. her hands are interwined tightly the knuckls are while, she has placed them above her chest where her heart should be. For fear of it's desersion too. Now a body and a heart with out me I see.
I look up from her face and stare intently at the Dr. who placed himself between her knees. To me he looks like a gremlin, fevrishly lifiting his arm up with a grubby hand holding a black string. another arm appears as the first disapears,in tandem. sowing vigirously. I cannot look at him or her, so I sweep under the table to hide from the scene. I find dripping from the edges of the table blood. I look down on the floor and I am surounded by wide puddles of blood by hwat has seemed like only droplets.
The Dr.has finished. he asks her to press this pad against her grion and lie down for a while for the bleeding to cease. He leaves. se picks up her phone and says she is very alone. And that she is cold. No the dr. is not here. No no blankets. Crying she says she is awfully cold that she is alone. No nobody is wiaiting. she came alone. Now she is just alone and cold. seeng she is bieng misunderstood she says she will cross the border tomorrow and will be home then.
I follow her to the bathroom the Dr. showed her inorder for her to wash up.I stand watching her clean herself gently what must be very tender and saor. thinking she is finished she stands up to find blood trickeling down her inner thighs so fast puddles started forming on the bathroom floor. I watch her as she bends in pain and atempts to wipe the floor with toillet paper. Wipe the mess se fears the secretery outside will see and then know what she came in for. I want to shake her tell her to demand help, but we have relinquished eachother. she looks back for traces but she has done a good job. She is in mor epain now and it is increasing rapidly but she wants out.
I follow her out of the Dr's office into the streets. we stop at the pavment before she crosses the street she waves at me as if asking me to move because she cannot see the traffic from me. I forget my true state and realize i am transperant and her wave was but a wave for me to go away and leave her once and for all. I stood watching my shell cross the street heading for the pharmacy. This is when we seperated.
We reunited Two years a go. But before that I visited her briefly in her lucid dreams. She was always full of laughter. But now that she recieved me, her sanity back her laughter's source in happiness I provide for I go insane for her hearts desires.
I remember that day for I am the holder of chaotic memories for her. And in that day she was clutching a piece of paper, in her sweaty hand, containing the information. Clutched so tight and hard her sweat is smudging the words to become " turn back home''. A fragment of my imagination ofcaurse. I contain that for her too for I am her SANITY.
We both enter the doctor's office. I am registering carefully what is bieng discussed. they agree on a sum. She mutters ''I am ready''. At that moment leaped out of her body that contained that submissive heart letting out a demonic silent scream ''for what!ready'' I remind her of our promise. That it is against everything we are and ever will be. I wisper into her deafend ear ''A man who doesnot appriciate our experience in al matters is not a man to be reckoned with''.
She stood up slowly and walked the walk of the defeated behind the Dr. heading for the operating room. But I was relentless I folow her closely and kept up the rambling flow into her waxy ear ''our virginity a gift? a tocken of loe and honour?'' the Dr.comes between us somehow he must have gone through me, I still do not realize my seperated state is null. .I barely slip in when he was closing the door behind him, and it seems the door has hit me but I look at the left side of my supposed existance and ofcause I see nothing.
Inside the OR I find a mirror while I look into it and its reflection of all the suroundings of the room but me, the ubserdity of the notions I spoke out intensified and I laugh hysterically at the men who demand virginity as a requirment in thier partner. Wait I am sanity I must stop. As i realized what I am I tried movement. I found that I am agile. i can glide, float, soar.
Up to the cieling I look down on her. A body without me. She is lying on the table. Her top is on but her legs are bare and spread. Her thighs tremble though her knees are up and her feet are firmly planted on smooth sufrace of the table. a stable position yet her thighs tremble.
I descend to stad behind her to look down on her face. I find shamful silent tears streaming donw the sides of her face, wetting her ears and hair. Yet she does not move her hands to wipe the tears away. her hands are interwined tightly the knuckls are while, she has placed them above her chest where her heart should be. For fear of it's desersion too. Now a body and a heart with out me I see.
I look up from her face and stare intently at the Dr. who placed himself between her knees. To me he looks like a gremlin, fevrishly lifiting his arm up with a grubby hand holding a black string. another arm appears as the first disapears,in tandem. sowing vigirously. I cannot look at him or her, so I sweep under the table to hide from the scene. I find dripping from the edges of the table blood. I look down on the floor and I am surounded by wide puddles of blood by hwat has seemed like only droplets.
The Dr.has finished. he asks her to press this pad against her grion and lie down for a while for the bleeding to cease. He leaves. se picks up her phone and says she is very alone. And that she is cold. No the dr. is not here. No no blankets. Crying she says she is awfully cold that she is alone. No nobody is wiaiting. she came alone. Now she is just alone and cold. seeng she is bieng misunderstood she says she will cross the border tomorrow and will be home then.
I follow her to the bathroom the Dr. showed her inorder for her to wash up.I stand watching her clean herself gently what must be very tender and saor. thinking she is finished she stands up to find blood trickeling down her inner thighs so fast puddles started forming on the bathroom floor. I watch her as she bends in pain and atempts to wipe the floor with toillet paper. Wipe the mess se fears the secretery outside will see and then know what she came in for. I want to shake her tell her to demand help, but we have relinquished eachother. she looks back for traces but she has done a good job. She is in mor epain now and it is increasing rapidly but she wants out.
I follow her out of the Dr's office into the streets. we stop at the pavment before she crosses the street she waves at me as if asking me to move because she cannot see the traffic from me. I forget my true state and realize i am transperant and her wave was but a wave for me to go away and leave her once and for all. I stood watching my shell cross the street heading for the pharmacy. This is when we seperated.
We reunited Two years a go. But before that I visited her briefly in her lucid dreams. She was always full of laughter. But now that she recieved me, her sanity back her laughter's source in happiness I provide for I go insane for her hearts desires.
posted by pstpst at 1:20 PM
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